One of the most common desires humans have is to explore their darker desires, particularly in the bedroom. As couples explore various forms of sex play, an eventual encounter with rough sex and BDSM may be a natural part of the relationship. BDSM (Bondage, Dominance/Submission, Sadism and Masochism) is a broad term that describes a vast range of practices, but there is an art to safely exploring these desires.
What is Rough Sex and BDSM?
Rough sex and BDSM are activities that involve creating consensual power dynamics. While rough sex may involve various forms of pain play, BDSM requires the presence of a dominant and submissive who negotiate and agree on a scenario before engaging in any activities.
BDSM activities also involve the use of props and materials, such as blindfolds, restraints, and paddles. Aside from the physical, they often include verbal and mental play such as humiliation and domination. No matter how elaborate a BDSM scene may be, communication, safety, and trust (as well as respect) are key elements.
Exploring Your Darker Desires: Elements of Safety
Before engaging in any rough sex and BDSM activities, couples should make sure to follow these key elements of safety:
Communication: Before entering any BDSM activities, both participants should engage in careful communication, with the use of a safe word if needed. All consent should be specific and given without hesitation.
Trust: Any BDSM engagement is based on mutual trust, with both participants informing each other of their expectations.
Planning: A scene should also be carefully planned before engaging in any activities to ensure safety and minimize risks. A plan should include specific activities, and a timeline of scenes.
Protection: Any type of sexual activity should include the use of protection, such as condoms and dental dams.
Stop Word: If something goes wrong, the person should be able to use a stop word, to request a break or a change in activity.
Aftercare: Aftercare is an important part of BDSM and involves comforting the submissive after a scene has ended. Aftercare may involve paying special attention to wounds, providing emotional support, and calming the partner down.
The Benefits of Rough Sex and BDSM
As many couples explore the various aspects of rough sex and BDSM, research has shown that there are multiple psychological and physical benefits to engaging in such activities. Benefits include:
Physical Benefits
Experiencing heightened levels of oxytocin and endorphins in the body, which often act as a pain reliever.
Heightened adrenalin and norepinephrine levels, which can produce an energizing rush.
Exploring different types of sensation play and nurturing different areas of the body.
Psychological Benefits
Heightened trust and intimacy levels between couples.
Exploring sexual desires and activities that may otherwise be repressed.
Heightened control and understanding of individual boundaries.
Understanding and fulfilment of desires and wishes.
Rough Sex Activities You Can Explore
As couples look to explore their different desires and interests related to rough sex and BDSM, there are several activities they can examine. It’s important to remember that all activities should begin with careful planning and communication.
Sensory Deprivation: Involves depriving various senses in the submissive partner, such as the use of blindfolds, headphones, or gags.
Spanking: Involves the use of bare hands or implements to give pleasurable sensations of pain.
Flagellation: The use of whips, canes, and paddles to give pleasurable sensations of pain and submission.
Breath Play: Involves the use of choking and smothering to induce heightened levels of arousal.
Voyeurism: Involves watching or being watched while engaging in BDSM activities.
Exploring BDSM and Rough Sex ThroughRole Plays
Role-playing is a common BDSM activity through which couples can explore their darker desires. Role plays also provide an avenue to negotiate consent, communication, and safety without any actual physical activities. Couples looking to explore rough sex and BDSM through role-playing may want to explore activities such as:
Prisoner and Warden: This scenario involves a prisoner and a warden, with the prisoner being the submissive.
Daddy/ Mommy Dom and Little: This scenario involves a playful and nurturing mentor and a submissive, who acts as a child.
Slave and Master: This scenario provides the submissive with a chance to explore servitude. The dominant partner would act as the Master/Mistress and control the submissive partner.
Doctor and Patient: This scenario is about role reversal, and here, the patient serves as the dominant partner.
Exploring Rougher Sex Techniques
In addition to the exploration of BDSM roles and activities, couples may want to explore different rougher sex techniques. Some techniques they can explore include:
Safe Pulling: This may include the pulling of hair and the bending of the wrists or limbs. The use of safe signals with the hand is recommended.
Choking: This is a form of breath play and involves the use of hands around the throat. The use of a safe signal is recommended.
Nipple Play: This involves the use of fingers, clamps, or objects to pinch and pull the nipples to create pleasurable sensations.
Genital Play: This involves the use of objects or fingers to pinch and pull the genital areas to create pleasurable sensations.
Tips for Exploring Rough Sex and BDSM
Before embarking on the exploration of rough sex and BDSM, couples should remember several practical tips to prevent any issues and calamities. Tips for exploring rough sex and BDSM include:
Research: Before engaging in any activities, couples should research different forms of rough sex and BDSM so that they know the risks and precautions involved.
Plan Ahead: It is important to plan ahead, with clear communication and negotiation of activities that each partner agrees upon.
Safety: Communication, trust, and safety should be central components in any BDSM scene.
Exploring Different Fetishes: Couples should explore different fetishes separately and discuss limits.
Start Small: BDSM does not require elaborate scenarios, and couples should start with simpler scenarios for the exploration of rough sex.
Know Your Limits: It is important to respect personal boundaries and know the limits of both partners.
As the desire to explore one’s inner darkness increases, many couples will find themselves engaging in activities related to rough sex and BDSM. Even though these activities provide physical and psychological benefits, safety and trust should remain central components of any BDSM encounter. Role-playing and the use of props and objects are great ways to explore these desires in a safe and consensual manner.
