Having satisfying sex depends on many factors, but one that might come up often before, during, and after is “how long should sex last?”. Everyone has different preferences and expectations for sexual sessions, and many couples go through a process of trial and error to figure out what works best for them as individuals and as a couple.
This article will explain why a partner’s expectations may be unrealistic and provides suggestions on how to enjoy sex that is satisfying to both individuals. It will also answer common questions the general public has about the length of sex, different opinions and expectations regarding sex, and even the science behind measuring how long sex should last.
Realistic expections for how long sex should last
A survey conducted among 1,000 people across the United States found that the average rated ‘satisfactory’ sex session was between 7 to 13 minutes. The average time for the entire sexual experience, including foreplay, was found to be 20-25 minutes.
This may seem short or even too long to some. It is important to remember that no two couples or individuals have the same expectations, desires, and comfort levels.
Advantages of a Shorter Performance
Most people do not realize that there are advantages to a shorter performance.
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More Intense Pleasure: A shorter performance induces explosive and intense pleasure moments that might not be available during a longer session.
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Variety: You can explore different types of sex if you have a short session. This will bring some much-needed spice to your sex life.
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Lower Chance of Tiring Out: A shorter session of sex will not leave you feeling as tired as may be in a longer session. This is beneficial for people who have limited energy.
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More Sex: Couples can enjoy having more sex when they don’t exhaust themselves in one session.
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More Fulfilling: A shorter session can actually be more fulfilling for some couples because it is more intense and leaves both partners wanting for more.
The Role of Foreplay
Another important factor to consider when trying to determine the length of sex is the role of foreplay. Generally, foreplay can take longer or shorter than the sex session itself.
If foreplay is included, the session should be much longer than the average rating of 7-13 minutes. Foreplay helps to establish a level of trust and comfort in between partners and increases the pleasure levels significantly.
Foreplay can also be the perfect way to unwind and relax both partners and create a more enjoyable atmosphere. It is, in many cases, the best time to explore each partner’s fantasies and desires.
Conversing with Your Partner
When trying to ascertain how long should sex last, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Discuss what each of you expect from sex, as well as likes and dislikes.
Ask questions like: Do you want to try different positions? Do you want to ramp up foreplay, or shorten it? Are you satisfied with the length of time or do you want different lengths?
It is also important to talk about performance anxiety and be honest with each other. Don’t be afraid to share any limits you have and be understanding if your partner has any.
Scientific Study Outcomes
There have been numerous scientific studies done in the area of how long sex should last.
In the most comprehensive study till date, 500 couples from around the world were surveyed and asked to use a stop watch to time their sexual engagements. The study found that, on average, the length of penetrative sex was 7.3 minutes. The median time spent was 5.4 minutes, with the range from 33 seconds to 44 minutes.
The study concluded with the observation that sex for a longer period of time does not mean it is more enjoyable for partners.
Tips for Achieving a Fulfilling Sex Session
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Monitor Your Performance: To have pleasurable and enjoyable sex, it is important to monitor your performance. Do not be obsessed with the amount of time. Instead, focus on pleasure and making sure both partners are satisfied.
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Take Breaks: Taking breaks during sex is never a bad thing. If you feel like things are getting too intense or you are tiring out, take a break to refresh yourselves.
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Lube Up: Lubricants make sex much more enjoyable and help speed up the process.
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Talk: Don’t forget to talk to your partner during sex. Communication plays a big role in helping both partners feel fulfilled.
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Experiment: Experimenting with different positions, sensations, and pleasure strategies is a great way to find out what works for you and your partner.
All couples have different preferences when it comes to the length of sex. While the average ‘satisfactory’ sex session lasts 7-13 minutes, foreplay lengthens the session to an average of 20-25 minutes.
Scientific studies have also found that the average length of penetrative sex is 7.3 minutes, with the median time being 5.4 minutes and the range being from 33 seconds to 44 minutes.
Ultimately, it is up to the couple to determine what works best for them, and it is important to be willing to experiment, take breaks, use lube, talk, and take a monitoring approach to performance.
These tips can help couples have fulfilling sex no matter what the length of the session is.
