Exploring your sex life can be a great way to spice up relationships and deepen the connection between you and your partner. But it’s not always easy to know where to begin. If you and your partner want to explore vanilla, or “vanilla-compatible,” sex, there are plenty of creative and fun ways to get started without the need for complicated sex toys and dangerous behaviors.
In this article, we’ll dive into everything you need to know about vanilla sex, from what it is to tips on how to make it both safe and enjoyable.
What is Vanilla Sex?
Before we get into the finer details of exploring vanilla sex in a safe and healthy way, let’s start by taking a look at what it is.
Simply put, vanilla sex is conventional sexual activities that aren’t always considered “out of the ordinary.” That is, vanilla sex consists of activities that are generally considered mainstream, such as oral sex, intercourse, and manual stimulation. While these activities might be considered vanilla, there is still a wide range of ways to perform each activity.
Examples of Vanilla Sex
To better illustrate exactly what vanilla sex is, here’s an overview of some of the activities it can include:
· Oral sex
· Intercourse
· Manual stimulation
· Kissing
· Dirty talk
· Mutual masturbation
· Position experimentation
· Prolonged foreplay
· Use of a blindfold
Vanilla sex doesn’t necessarily mean that you and your partner stick to the same activities or positions over and over every time. Although vanilla sex may seem boring, it doesn’t have to be — there are plenty of ways to make each activity dynamic and interesting.
Benefits of Vanilla Sex
Vanilla sex offers a wealth of benefits, from improved communication and higher sexual satisfaction, to increased trust and better emotional intimacy. Here’s a few more advantages of exploring vanilla sex:
· It encourages better communication: Bonding with your partner is easier when you understand what they like and what makes them feel good — and exploring vanilla sex allows you to do just that.
· It meets most people’s needs: Vanilla sex may not be overly exciting, but it tends to meet most people’s sexual needs, making it a great option for a wide range of partners.
· It creates a strong connection: Vanilla sex usually creates a strong emotional and physical connection between partners. It brings a certain stability to the relationship and allows partners to further understand one another’s desires.
· It’s much safer: Exploring more dangerous activities, such as up-the-butt and intense kink play, comes with its own set of risks that vanilla sex simply doesn’t have. Whether it just feels safer, or it actually is, vanilla sex is generally much safer than more complex activities.
How to Explore Vanilla Sex in a Safe and Healthy Way
Now that you know a bit about vanilla sex and its benefits, it’s time to get into the nitty-gritty of it all — here are a few tips to ensure that you’re exploring vanilla sex in a safe and healthy way:
- Get to know your partner:
The key to enjoying any form of sex is communication. Before you start exploring vanilla sex with your partner, it’s essential that you first get to know them and their likes, dislikes, fantasies, and sexual boundaries. Talk to each other, but also take the time to just listen and observe.
- Educate yourself:
It’s important that both parties take the time to educate themselves on the different ways you can explore vanilla sex. Doing so will help you both be aware of activities that could be a turn-on, as well as deciding what’s off the table.
- Have realistic expectations:
It’s inevitable that a certain amount of fear and anxiety will be involved in any sex act. But it’s important that both you and your partner have realistic expectations about exploring vanilla sex — and keep any expectations within reason.
- Make sure you stay safe:
Safety should be a priority when exploring any form of sex, especially vanilla sex. It’s important to use protection every time and maintain good hygiene. It’s also good to take the time to learn how to be safe during oral sex and intercourse.
- Have fun and keep an open mind:
Finally, make sure to have a good time and keep an open mind. Vanilla sex can be a great way to bond with your partner, as well as to identify the activities that you both enjoy and appreciate.
Exploring vanilla sex together can be a great way to deepen the connection between you and your partner. The activities don’t have to be mundane or boring, either — there are plenty of ways to customize each activity to make it more interesting and enjoyable.
When exploring vanilla sex, it’s important to be aware of safety concerns, as well as to recognize that everyone’s likes and dislikes are different. Not to mention, it’s essential that you take the time to get to know your partner and the activities they do and don’t enjoy.
With these tips in mind, you can feel confident that you and your partner can explore vanilla sex in a safe and healthy way that’s enjoyable for both of you.
