Understanding and Managing Your Feelings as a Man
It is common knowledge that emotions and feelings are complex and difficult to navigate, but this is especially true for many men. The societal conditioning that men need to exhibit strength and emotionlessness further complicates the issue, as men are expected to uphold a certain image of stoic masculinity. Despite this, men have to learn how to “tame” their feelings and emotions in order to be emotionally healthy. This article will explore the topic of understanding and managing feelings as a man and provide tips and advice to help men better comprehend and manage their feelings.
What Are Feelings? Definition and Explanation
Before diving into the complexities of managing feelings, it’s important to start by understanding what feelings are and how they work. Feelings are a physical and mental response triggered by outside influences or internal thoughts. They are often manifested in the body in the form of physical sensations such as tension, queasiness, tightness, mad butterflies, knots in the stomach, among many more. Feelings also influence emotions and behaviours, too.
Additionally, there are a variety of feelings that range from positive to negative and vary in intensity. Positive feelings are associated with joy, excitement, enthusiasm, admiration, compassion and love, whereas negative feelings stem from fear, anger, bitterness, sadness, guilt, and depression.
The Biology of Feelings
To have a better understanding of how feelings manifest in the body, it is important to take a look at the biological side of things. When we experience an emotion or feeling, our brain triggers the automatic release of certain hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, in order to help us respond to the situation. This is known as the body’s fight-or-flight response.
The fight-or-flight response is a survival mechanism that prepares us for a stressful situation by releasing powerful hormones and providing us with energy to either “fight” the situation or flee it. This is why when we experience fear, our heart rate increases, our breathing gets faster, and muscles become tense.
The Role of Emotions
In order to understand and manage our feelings, it is imperative to look at the relationship between feelings and emotions and how they intertwine. While feelings are the physical sensations we experience, emotions are the mental reactions to those feelings. Feelings and emotions interact in ways that make it difficult to parse the two apart.
Emotions stem from our psychological make-up and are formed through interpretations and reactions to our environment or our thoughts. Whenever we experience a feeling, it is associated with an emotion, which elicits certain behaviours. For example, someone may feel a knot of anxiety in their stomach, but the emotion attached to that feeling is fear, which may cause them to dodge confrontations.
The Link Between Feelings and Thoughts
It is important to understand the strong link between feelings and thoughts in order to better manage those feelings. It is common for people to experience intrusive, negative thoughts that lead to emotions such as depression, sadness, and fear. This is because our thoughts can have an immense impact on our emotional state and elicit various sensations in the body.
For example, if someone has the thought, “I’m a failure,” it is likely that that person will experience physical sensations in the body such as tightness or a knot in the stomach and simultaneously feel emotions such as fear and sadness. It is essential to be aware of these thought-feeling connections and how to better manage and reframe these thoughts in order to help manage the difficult feelings they evoke.
Understanding Your Feelings as a Man
It can be intimidating and overwhelming to face your feelings as a man. Since societal expectations are that men should be strong and unwavering, it can be difficult to acknowledge that emotions and feelings need to be managed and regulated. That being said, it is essential to understand one’s feelings, even if it means allowing oneself to experience a range of emotions, negative or positive.
It is important for men to recognize that their feelings are valid and should be acknowledged. For example, instead of sweeping your emotions and feelings under the rug, you should allow yourself to recognize and accept the emotions you are experiencing. It is also important to be aware of the physical sensations associated with these emotions, such as anxiousness, tightness in the stomach, knots, etc and to allow yourself to acknowledge and observe those.
Managing Your Feelings as a Man
Once you have allowed yourself to recognize and observe your feelings, it is important to have an understanding of how to effectively manage them. Here are some tips and strategies to help manage your feelings as a man:
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Talk it out: Find someone you can trust to talk to and talk through what you are feeling. Talking through your feelings can help express them clearly, which can help you to understand and process them better.
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Stay active: Exercise has been proven to reduce stress and anxiety and help clear one’s head. Exercise essentially helps to put your thoughts into perspective and forces your body to release feel-good hormones, such as endorphins, which can snap you out of a funk.
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Journaling: Writing down what you are feeling can help create clarity, as it allows for your thoughts and emotions to be processed, articulated, and organized.
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Focus on the present: Being mindful and focusing on the present moment can help bring awareness to the current state of your emotions. Of course, this isn’t always easy as it requires practice, but it is a method to consider in managing your emotions.
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Self-care: Lastly, taking care of yourself is important in managing your feelings, as it allows for time to relax, reflect, and to practice self-love.
Bringing It All Together
It is normal and healthy to experience emotions and feelings. However, as a man, it is important to understand and manage your feelings, as they can have an immense impact on your well-being. In order to do this, it is important to understand what feelings are and how they work, how emotions affect our feelings, and how thoughts can influence our emotions. Additionally, it is important to remember to be kind to yourself and to practice self-care in order to foster a healthier and stronger emotional well-being.
Managing feelings can take time and practice, but it is important to remember to take it slow and take small steps in gradually understanding and managing your feelings.